


For my life, still ahead

by mantismantis



Category: Trigun
Genre: Crying, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, i might add a little more later, this one is short and sweet dont worry, uhhhhh lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 07:27:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mantismantis/pseuds/mantismantis
Summary: Pity me.





	For my life, still ahead

**Author's Note:**

> vash is lonely and i want him to not be lonely anymore :’( is this a one shot? a drabble? i dont know so please dont ask me

A finger gently tilting your chin was all the warning you got before Vash kissed you. It surprised you, but it didn’t feel at all unnatural-- at least, not until he hastily pulled away from you after he realized what he was doing. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He looked panicked and ashamed, and was only able to make eye contact with you for a split second before he broke away from it. “I really shouldn’t have done that. I… I-I’ll just--”

You caught his arm-- the fake one-- as he stood up from his seat next to you on the bed, and he immediately turned his head to look back at you with a question on his face.

“N-No, don’t.” You tugged him back down to sit again. “It’s okay,” you said, still trying to find your words. “I like you.”

The soft smile Vash gave you was obviously fake, a pathetic coverup for how he was actually feeling. “I’m a little old for you,” he said, “don’t you think?” 

You slid your hand down to hold his, turning your gaze to the metal joints in his fingers. Cold and heavy. You wanted to refute his argument, but you knew he was right-- it was more than just a small age difference. He’d probably been alive for over two centuries already, and you knew that he would certainly outlive you. He wasn’t human, and you hadn't forgotten that. 

“I know.” Vash let the smile fall from his face at your reply, and the two of you sat in silence for a time. You stared at your hands and idly wondered if his fake fingertips had any feeling. “I just really love you,” you heard yourself say as you pressed your thumb against his palm.

“You… should really try and find someone else,” Vash mumbled, and you looked up at him. For a moment it seemed like he was about to add another thought, but he closed his mouth. Your heart sank down into your gut. You understood where he was coming from-- he had certainly loved many people before, romantic and otherwise, and it was always destined to end the same way for him-- but the words still hurt you all the same.

You wanted to tell him that you didn’t care, that you’d have fun in the moment and not feel worried about the future, that you really just loved him and wanted to express it while you could, but you knew that it would probably hurt him more to hear that. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice cracked. You could apologize for your feelings, but you couldn’t lie to him about them. 

Vash ran his hand-- the real one-- over his face and let himself fall backwards onto the bed with a deep sigh.

“The problem is,” he said, hesitation evident in his voice, “I really love you, too.”

It was quiet again as you sat with your feelings and considered what to say. You reminded yourself of all of the reasons why this was a terrible idea, but you still—

Your thoughts were interrupted by a muffled sniffle. 

Wait, was he crying? His arm was laying across his face now, so you couldn’t really tell by looking, but you could hear the crinkle in his voice when he spoke.

“I’ve done this before. And you know, the crazy thing is--” he paused to sniffle, “--I’ll do it again. And I’ll probably keep doing it, as long as I’m alive.”

“What, falling in love?”

“Yeah.”

Vash continued before you had a chance to ask him why.

“It’s so, so beautiful. I love feeling love for people.” There was no longer any doubt that he was crying. “How could I not?”

Of course, there wasn’t any room to argue with him, even if you had wanted to. He was the most genuinely kind-hearted person you had ever met, no contest, and that very special type of kindness required a very special type of unconditional love for the world and every life on it. It was a type of love that only Vash could give. 

“I love you,” you said, laying down on your side to face Vash next to you. 

He moved his arm and smiled a real smile at you, although his face was damp and red. “I love you too,” he said. After some consideration, he added, “Are you sure you’re okay with someone like me?”

“Yes,” you replied, without hesitation. “Of course I am.”

“I won’t ever get older,” he said, as if he were trying to convince you to change your mind, but the look on his face gave away the happiness beneath his grief.

“Vash, I know,” you said, and reached out to wipe at his damp cheek. He blinked and sniffled.

“Yeah,” Vash nodded and quickly placed his real, warm hand over yours on his cheek, holding it there. “Yeah. I love you.” He closed his eyes and focused on the physical feeling of your hand touching his face. Warm, soft, present. You lightly rubbed your thumb over his cheek. He was still crying. 

When he opened his eyes again, they were puffy and watery, and his eyelashes were sticking together. He was the saddest you’d ever seen him, but at the same time, he also looked the happiest you’d ever seen him. He was beautiful.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked him without thinking. 

Vash smiled and let out a cross between a laugh and a sob. “Yeah.”

As you scooted a little closer to him and used your hand to gently pull his face into yours, you could feel that he was still somewhat tense. His skin felt hot from crying, and when you kissed him, the taste of tears lingered on his lips. After you separated, instead of pulling away, you moved to kiss his cheek; and then his eyebrow, and then his forehead, and then his other cheek, until Vash was giggling weakly while you peppered kisses all over his face. You smiled and planted one more solid kiss on his lips before pulling back to look at him properly. 

“That’s the kind of smile that suits you best,” you told him, admiring his rosy, tear-stained cheeks and wide grin. It was the kind of smile that made you want to cry and laugh right along with him-- and you were. You looked at him for a moment longer before you wrapped your arms around him as best you could and pulled yourself up close to him. Vash nudged his face down into your chest and held you tightly round the waist with his real arm, the fake one resting between your bodies. He squeezed you tightly and took a deep breath with his face still buried, seemingly content to stay where he was for the moment. You reached an arm over to stroke the back of his head, more than happy to oblige him.

**Author's Note:**

> hahahahahaha please dont kill me. idk if this is connected to my other trigun thing or not, ive just been fuckin around in my spare time. dont worry about it much. sorry kidz i know i never finish anything >B’) (thats a devilish sunglasses emoji, but with tears in its eyes)


End file.
